Jelly Fish, Moons and Turkeys

I am turning in to a jelly fish. O dear.

To close, a poem in free-verse:

Sometimes, when the night is bright, the moon is a turkey.
It is then that the black porridge eats a glow.
Yet the night is sweet: the chirping crickets remind me of me sojourn at Volos.
Where the whitewashed walls glimmer coolly in the moonlight.
Yet the feathered moon of discovery
Makes me want to circumnavigate its crated land: so I do.
Ich kann die fliegende moeven hoeren, wereint ihr schwimmen im die klare luft.
The skies call out to them, and they heed their callers,
As the stars knell and the clouds stickily part.
"O ye gulls! Why can not I fly with ye, that all below is darkened?
"The inky, unanimously sunless skies fill my void with nought.
"Yet on ye go, like cheese." Like cheese....
I reminisce as I gallop down the hill: the cheese in front, the chasers behind, the rock strewn grass below and the gulls above. Gulls....
The moon glistens once more.

If I Were A Sheep, I Would Not Be Me.

By my head! There is some thing wrong with my wireless driver; the internet is slow. Really slow. And barely works. I suspect that the thing is too sensitive. I shall attempt to verify.

I have, after much deliberation, unanimously agreed to acquire the following: 1 pair of AKG K701 headphones; 1 Beta22 amplifyer (to be built be me); 1 Sigma22 Power Supply Unit (ibid); 1 DAC, probably the Buffalo (ibid); 1 very large piece of metal, to be turned in to a very large telescope (ibid). I suppose that the chance of the last point occurring is... greater than zero — but not by much.

Pieces of eight.

I am reading Don Quixote. Poor chap. And poor Sancho Panza.

I have acquired yet more books. Many books. Which need to be catalogued. I'll get around to it.

You don't need to know more, for now.

And now, a recently finished Lymmerick:

The walls of the city are falling
And in the streets, people are brawling.
We're under attack;
We must fight them back!
Take up the sword; that is your calling.

Post One:

"Posted: Monday, 19 May, 2008 13:15
Subject: TOBS Creams 
I am really interested in these creams, despite my having told myself NOT to buy any more creams. Alas! I am powerless over my SCAD! 

Never the less, I should like to know some thing: How long have you had the creams and have they dried at all? 

I live in Canada, but if I do make the purchase, I would hope that you would absorb any additional shipping fees (you seem to already have included them in the cost, after all). If not, kindly let me know how much more it will cost. 

David."

Post Two:

"Posted: Monday, 19 May, 2008 13:35
Subject: Re: TOBS Creams 
dmikel wrote:
"I bought all but two of the creams direct from Taylors in Britain in March of this year and the other two, Lavender and Eton about a month ago from Vintage Blades. The ones from Taylors are full as can be and dense. I've not seen any sign of dehydration."

Very nice. 

dmikel wrote:
"Before I go through all that trouble, why don't you tell me how much more you're willing to pay to ship to Canada and we'll go from there."

Ten dollars. I think that that would be sufficient. 

Thanks for replying so quickly."

Post Three:

"Posted: Monday, 19 May, 2008 14:49
Subject: Re: TOBS Creams 
dmikel wrote:
"I packed it up and according to my bathroom scale your $10 offer is just right. Depends what the post office scales say though but it's close enough."

Good guess on my part! :D 

dmikel wrote:
"Please send $100 to paypal 
dmikel33@yahoo.com"

Ah. I'm afraid that I do not own a credit card, so paypal is a bit... impossible. Would a money order be sufficient? 

One last thing: I looked on qedusa.com to see for how much they are selling TOBS. Each jar is listed as 13.50. You, though, are offering them to me at 15.00 each. That is why I had presumed that you had included shipping (6 * 13.50=81 + 10 (shipping) = 91, which is what you were asking). 

So, if you offer the creams to me for 90 US (subtract a dollar for the some of the creams for having been used), I will take them. I'm not trying to rob you; if you think that this is unfair, please tell me. I REALLY want these creams, but I also do not wish to over-pay: I'm not the richest of chaps. :) 

dmikel wrote:
"I'll be going to town Wednesday so won't go out till then. Hope that's okay."

Not a problem. 

Do let me know your thoughts. If you believe that my proposals are to much of a bother, I have no doubt that there are others already lined up to acquire your TOBS. 

Cheers."

Post Four:

"Posted: Monday, 19 May, 2008 15:13
Subject: Re: TOBS Creams 
dmikel wrote:
"Add clearly states paypal. Pretty much I think you're just screwing around to see what you can get me to agree to. I'm no longer interested in selling to you."

In fact, I had not noticed the paypal requirement. And no, I am not trying to screw with you; I'm not that sort of person. I offered evidence to support my proposal, which I encourage you to verify independantly. 

But, fair enough. I am sure that you shall sell your wares to a more willing buyer. 

Thanks any way."

Post Five:

"Posted: Sunday, 25 May, 2008 16:51
Subject: Let's clear the air 
I hope that your recent post to the selling / trading thread was not directed at me. If so, I feel obliged to defend myself. 

Firstly: I was not aware that haggling is forbidden. It seems to me that over thousands of years, a would be purchaser and the owner of the wares have always negociated prices. The owner asks for one thing, the purchaser says pfui, the owner lowers and the buyer raises until a price is reached to which both sides can agree. 

Secondly: I made an enquiry. I did not state that I was categorically going to purchase. I said I was highly interested. You asked what shipping price I would be willing to pay and I replied. But before I even agreed to the price and that I did want the wares, you assumed that the deal was done. Perhaps my writing was (is) ambiguous. If so, I appologise. I countered (see above), though, with a reasonable proposal. I offered the reasons behind my proposal and indeed encouraged you to confirm or refute my thoughts. I was quite willing to accept that you had paid more than the price at which qedusa.com were offering the creams and were simply selling your creams with out the intent to profit. There is a precedent: One chap from whom I bought some Coates creams was selling them for substantially more than what is listed on qedusa.com. I asked why this was and he earnestly answered that, firstly, the site was out of date and that secondly, he had paid more and was selling them to me merely to recuperate his purchasing money. Had you told me some thing of this sort, I would gladly have accepted this and proably would have made the deal. But you did not. Instead, you became rather angry, thinking I was out to swindle you and make you lose money. Let me say this as clearly as I can: I was not trying to rob you. I was not trying to cheat you out of your money or your goods. I was curious as to why you were selling them for more than the afore-mentioned site and was hoping that you would give a simple and truthful answer. No more, no less. 

Thirdly: I was under the impression that you had factored the cost of shipping in to the price of the six creams. There is precedence: I bought creams and a soap from a chap who had factored in shipping costs. When I informed him that I was in Canada, he simply deducted the factored-in shipping charges and substituted them for the appropriate ones. This was another reason that I offered the proposal. 

Fourthly: Your creams have been used, albeit very slightly. It would seem to me that when selling a used product, the price should be decreased from the original cost. At a garage sale, one expects to find lower prices than at, say, a furniture store, However, I am willing to throw this point out the window, as the selling / trading thread is not, in fact, a garage sale. 

Fifthly: You refused my method of payment, citing the fact that you had demanded Paypal be used; and rightly so. I truly did not note this in the original listing. I do appologise for that over-sight. I have since acquired a Paypal account so that such an over-sight need never again occur. 

I have given you the explanation which I feel you deserve. If you think that I have not sufficiently explained myself, please tell me where I should clarify and I shall do so immediately. I wish for no enmity to exist between the two of us. I have given you this PM in the hopes that we shall be able to settle this matter like the gentleman that we are. I ask you to consider what I have written and tell me your thoughts. If you would like me to publicly write all of this and further appologise, you need but say the word. In the hopes that we might clear the air, I am, 

Yours, 

David R. Litwin."

No more alcohol

As some of my readership may know, I do not drink alcohol. If the readership does not know, they now do. The readership may or may not also know that my mother is rather daft. Well, mix one part mother with one part alcohol and one gets a Mad Mom cocktail. Not a very pleasent one. If some thing is not pleasent, the thing must be stopped. In this case, the consuption, or, at least, the presence of Mad Mom must be eliminated. The most effective way to achieve this, of course, is to remove one or both of the factors which comprise it. As murder is not legal, I opted to remove the alcohol.

DOWN THE DRAIN it went.

Furthermore, I elected to issue an edict (not a fatwah as they are too strong and should really only be used at the uttermost end of need). The edict declared that should I find alcohol which is not hidden, it would be poured down the sink. A liberal interpretation is here possible, which suits my purposes.

In other news, the Chronicles of Narnia are being read and enjoyed by me.

In other news, a man has slandered my name. This is not acceptable. I have given this man one week te respond to my ultimatum: Reply to the personal message that I sent and have a chance to settle our differences; or else I shall make all things public and let the readership of that particular forum judge me. I had not wanted to do such a thing. I no longer have a choice. A gentleman I am. A gentleman I have been to this lad. A gentleman will not have his name slandered with out defending himself. As a gentleman, I shall do so.

I fear that I am on the war path. So be it. I am not easily angered, but insulting my honour does the trick.

In other news, I am attempting to garner support for a petition which I will have the store Vasco read. They sell shaving goods here at Montreal at prices which necessitate my not purchasing the goods from that store. This is not a good thing. Purchasing in what is being termed now a days a brick and mortar store is greatly preferable to purchasing on-line: One can support the local economy, sample produce before acquisition and have a live human with which to converse. Thus it is that I am attempting to have them lower their prices — or at least offer a discount to those in the know. I doubt that they shall do this, but for their sake I do hope so.

Summer school starts the day after to-morrow, I think.

When my ex physics teacher rearrives from Mexico, he shall be teaching me how to sing opera. This is hugely wonderful and I am eager to commence.

I have received my newest acquisition: Truefitt and Hill luxury shaving soap. Very nice masculin lavender scent. I await other soaps and a cream.

To close, a Lymmerick:

The scent in the air is fell
And in my head rings a bell.
In penetrates all
And doesn't it gall.?
"Then why don't you close the smell?"

...Peachy O₂.

Blood and Ashes

I said that I would post daily.

I lied.

I said I would post more often.

I lied.

I say I post now.

I never lie.

So what has kept me busy these last days? Shaving. Yes, that activity that nearly all men execute. It turns out that there is a portion of the population that has turned shaving in to a hobby. I am now a member of that segment.

About a month ago, after over a decade of wanting one, I finally bought a straight razor. I had already converted to using a brush and proper shaving soap a year or so previous to that. But there I was, razor in hand and stubble on cheek. Take that! I quothed. And my visage was depiliated.

But this was but the beginning.

The shaving brush I had bought was a poor quality thing from the Razor Centre in Plaza Alexis Nihon. Big mistake. After only a year's usage, the brush is falling apart. Enough of this, I cried. I started to read reviews of shaving brushes on the three shaving forums (www.badgerandblade.com, www.shavemyface.com and www.straightrazorplace.com). I unanimously decided to purchase a Savile Row SR3824 from www.qedusa.com. GREAT move on my part, though I wish I had done it long ago. Expensive? Yes. Worth every penny? Totally.

Did I stop here? Fuck no.*

To go along with my glorious new badger brush, I decided to buy shaving creams and soaps. Lots. Ten in all. Why so many, you ask? Because, like tea, one wishes to sample a new flavour daily. They should arrive in a fortnight or so. And I am now pennyless.

In other news:

I fell from my bicycle and scraped my palm. Alas.

I nearly bought a beautiful 750 GB external hard drive. Alas.

I have many labs to write. Alas.

I bought a scanner. Yay.

I love cheese. Yay.

I found more cook books. Yay.

To close, a Lymmerick.

The most boring thing in the world
Is not a large sail unfurled.
It starts with a p
And ends with an e
And happens right after you've curled.

Cheers.

*My blog. I can say what I want.

I Have Not Absquatulated. Yet.

A, H. A.

I wrote a Lymmerick during the wait for the final debate at this year's Dawson Debating Union's Annual April Fool's Day Tourney. The catch? L didn't take it with me when I left. Yes, a lost Lymmerick (though I will write what I recall of it for to-day's Closing Lymmerick.).

"But how was did the Tourney?" you might enquire.

The first round saw me judging the top speaker at the Tourney, if not in the province. Well done. He had an excellent speech. The second round saw me judging the same team. Another goodly speech. more interesting for both of these rounds was my total in-ability to compose my thoughts and elucidate them to my comrades and the debators. I blame lack of sleep (see below). Luncheon (during which time I ate many potatoes) brought illness. So I went to the "Executive Bath-Room" and I defecated. This didn't do much to alleviate my symptoms, so I returned to the tweiter floor and ate some more. The third round saw me judging alone. I was back to my normal self and demolished the debators. they seemed to be appreciative of my no-non-sense aproach to commentary. I felt better. The final round had me again judging alone, but with an audience member. I was rather worried that my harshness would offend her. In stead, she asked me to coach her fledgeling team at the Study (apparently, the debating team there is only for the senior levels: she wished me to coach the juniors.). I promptly refused, informing her that I am not a not worthy of coaching (I really shouldn't even be judging, but my comrades seem to believe that I actually know what I'm doing. I don't and I tell them so at every opportunity.). I cited my having come dead last in my last foray in to debating, the infamous Marianopolis annual tourney. Why infamous? The first round's resoluting was THW ban the letters C, Q and X owing to their being barbaric and communist. The second: We proposed the abolishion of homeopathy. I gave the examples of hemlock juice and trepanning and said hell's bells. In a POI, I was told to go home. The last round is the most famous. My partner wasn't having the best of days. When she delivered her PM (or was it MO?) speech, I realised that I was going to have to cover her points as well as my own. Knowing that the round was irrelevant, I went all-out. The results: The room was in laughter so severe that both the judge and my partner were in tears. I think I got a sixty. Obviously, I am in no position to coach.

In lappy-news, I have begun to tweak. I spent most of the week-end fiddling with hdparm and xfs as well as a bit of the bootup sequence. For my troubles: The hard-drive has faster read, write and delete times seemingly at the cost of simultenaity, though I could be making this up. i don't care. I am not going back. My hard-drive can make all of the strange and evil-sounding noises it likes.

I think that's enough for now.

To close, a Lymmerick:

fool
got to do with a shoe

on which you now drool.

I told you I don't remember it. Let's give you an other.

To close, a Lymmerick:

Flying way up there is space,
Almost as if in a race —
Its luminescence
Is due, in a sense,
To all of the heat at the base.

Cheers.

Caliph?

I'm not sure that I really have any thing to say.

Saturday brings the annual Dawson High School Debating tourney. Unlike last year's fiasco, other than in a judging capacity, I shall have nothing to do with it.

For last year's fiasco, see Debating at Dawson With Out Any Cheese.

My caluclus teacher, a lazy chap, gave my class a re-test, owing to the miserable results of the first one. The catch: He gave us the same test. O yes. I will say nothing save this:

Blood and bloody ashes!

I have yet to come to any conclusions regarding Benjammin Britten's War Requiem. Any comments on that?

I have not written a single word on the writing project's front. I'll get around to it. Soon.

If I think of some thing else, I'll let you know.

To close, to-day's Lymmerick:

There once was a bull named huck
Whom sped off, one day, in a truck.
He started to moo;
For he had to poo,
But didn't know how to. Tough luck!

Cheers.